Tribute to Mary Willis Pomeroy
By Linda Lovas Hoeschler, February 10, 2018
Have you ever lost a key piece of writing on a plane? Well, I left my heartfelt, flowing tribute to Mary on the plane from MSP. Although I’ve tried to re-create a semblance of my original talk, I can assure you that you are all in luck—this version is shorter, old age memory being what it is.
I am honored to offer tribute to Mary Pomeroy this evening as we celebrate the 50 plus years of the Delegation for Friendship Among Women; 50 years only possible because Mary was the driving force behind so many of the Delegation’s trips, its vision and its continued existence. Mary is truly the creator, the mother of the Delegation, and we, as its loyal and enthusiastic participants and beneficiaries, toast Mary as the Mother of Us All. Thank you, Mary. And thank you Mary, Jill, George and the many others who worked to produce this new book, this magnificent record of some of Mary’s achievements working on behalf of the Delegation and as a model world citizen.
It is difficult to even think of the Delegation without Mary Pomeroy. It is as if she and the Delegation exchanged DNA early on so that they became one, aligned in spirit and drive. If the Delegation were an organism, Mary was its Delphic Oracle. She knew instinctively where the Delegation should go next, where in the developing world some thoughtful American women could listen, suggest, learn and perhaps inspire fledging women leaders, leaders often unacknowledged, unsupported and underfinanced.
Mary was a natural creator for the Delegation, for she had already done a great job creating herself. As a young child, she and her sister Betty, would usually go to the local library while they waited for their mother to pick them up after school. Instead of complaining that mom was undependable and forgetful, Mary saw the library as her chance to read as many books as she could—which she did. As an adult, she has always maintained a large and impressive library of books about world affairs and history—an attractive magnet for my husband, whom I call Mary’s next husband!
After raising her three children in Minnesota, Mary began to work for Mercury Travel and was involved in Republican politics. She was asked by some of her politically-involved friends to help the fledgling Delegation with its first trip planning. Mary became such a driving force, that she was asked to sign the Delegation’s Articles of Incorporation a couple of years later.
Although we had lived in Minnesota since 1968, we only heard about Mary from others interested in world travel “Surely you know Mary”. But we didn’t, until we heard again of Mary in Egypt in 1987—our archaeologist guide and others commenting, when they heard we lived in St Paul: “but of course you know Mary Pomeroy.” I sheepishly said no each time. A year later we were asked to host a dinner in our home for Jehan Sadat and were told that Mrs. Sadat had one requirement: that Mary Pomeroy be included as her guest of honor. Then I learned that Mary was serving as parliamentarian for an international women’s conference. I was truly out of it, not knowing this renowned local light!
Fortunately, this breach was soon corrected through a mutual Egyptian friend, and I was invited to go with the Delegation to Yemen, Oman and Morocco for 3 weeks in March 1990. Since then, I have been fortunate to have been on every Delegation trip but one.
Although the Delegation trips were wonderful on one level because of the opportunity to visit countries not on the beaten path (how many times have I been asked, “You’re going where? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”), these trips were phenomenal and a great privilege because of Mary Pomeroy. Why? What was Mary’s strategy, her winning edge?
1. Mary had, as I mentioned before, a great nose for the countries where interesting things were happening, particularly identifying where female leadership needed a hand and encouragement. She was always right.
2. Mary also always went, on her own nickel, to visit the countries well before a Delegation trip. She identified the women really doing great things. (By the way, the male-dominated governments usually wanted us to meet only government officials, who were often, not surprisingly, their relatives). Mary, a human bloodhound, would also sniff out the burgeoning NGO heads who were doing important things, particularly in social services, who could use an exchange of ideas and our imprimatur.
Mary gained respect for the Delegation on these pre-trips by her very presence and authority, a huge help to our group. But Mary also made true friends with many of the foreign women leaders, friendships that endured decades.
3. Mary also insisted that we Delegates follow-up on our meetings, and she set the best example for us all. On my first trip with the group to Oman, we learned about extensive congenital deafness, skeletal malformation etc due to long-standing inbreeding, particularly in rural areas. On our return home, next thing I knew Mary had me working with her and Gillette Children’s Hospital in St Paul to send a container of perfectly good but out of date rehab equipment to Muscat, Oman.
4. Follow-up, but keep looking ahead, seemed to be Mary’s mantra, always keeping her eye on the next ascending ball where she thought the Delegation should go.
I have learned a few other valuable lessons from Mary:
1. Always dress up for meeting these women leaders, no matter how small their organization, no matter how poor or poorly dressed they are. Dressing professionally shows respect for them and their work.
2. Don’t always listen to Mary ‘s advice, particularly on appropriate dress for a country. On my first trip to the Middle East Mary advised us to dress conservatively and in dark clothes. And wear no expensive jewelry. So while I dressed like a nun looking for a convent, Mary, ever glamorous, wore colorful and beautiful clothing, and sported a diamond as big as the Ritz.
3. Pack clothes in plastic and Martinizing bags to keep them looking great and wrinkle free.
4. And finally, view the poor and ‘fly-over’ countries, particularly those with troubled or even no US relations, as offering rich opportunities to learn, to help, and, certainly, to make friends. Ignore men for the most part.
Mary, obviously has never had the time or inclination to rest, either on her divan or her laurels. This remarkable icon is never self-congratulatory. By word and by example she has helped us Delegates to keep looking ahead to the next adventure, the next opportunity.
So now may I propose that we all stand and toast Mary Willis Pomeroy, the Mother of us All!